|Writer|| Kevin Campbell|
|Story editor||Duane Capizzi|
|Episode 36: Season 1, Episode 36|
|Date||November 20, 1991|
|⇦ Index ⇨|
"Dry Hard" is a season 1 episode that debuted on November 20, 1991. It is the first episode to feature the Liquidator as the villain and also is his only significant solo appearance.
St. Canard is experiencing a major heatwave going on for 25 days already when Drake installs a sprinkler system. Or tries to; he loses a component to the sewers and hardheadedly resolves to make it work without that component. Herb Muddlefoot drops by to ask how things are going and Drake inadvertently demonstrates things are going terribly, much to the entertainment of a duo of roadworkers nearby. They advise him to get a 3/4 pickney-flange when Gosalyn runs past to her new lemonade stand. Seeking to benefit from the heatwave, she offers free potato chips, which she has secretly covered in a full shaker of salt. Anyone foolish enough to take some is easily persuaded to pay a dollar for a cup of water.
Meanwhile, Drake fixes up the sprinkler system and enthusiastically draws attention to its activitation, which predictably ends in a disaster. Herb advises him to get a 3/4 pickney-flange, angering Drake only more. He stomps inside and catches a Soft Copy news report Launchpad is watching. In addition to the heatwave, St. Canard is being plagued by the suspicious phenomenon that nearly all the bottled water on shelves has began tasting terribly. Tom Lockjaw lends the microphone to Bud Flud, an expert on water physics and owner of the Sparkling Crystal Pure Flud Water Bottling Company. Flud blames naturally occuring molecules for the contamination before turning the news report into a commercial for his own pure water. Lockjaw is not amused and ends the report with a note that officials suspect that someone has been tampering with the water. Drake decides to investigate as Darkwing Duck, but finds the heat an unforeseen enemy. He and Launchpad stop by Beverage King to buy some water. To their annoyance, all the water that still tastes good is sold out; that is, Sparkling Crystal Pure Flud Water and Coo-Coo Fizzy Water. Darkwing deduces one of these will be targeted next and further estimates the victim will be Coo-Coo Fizzy Water. They stake out at the company and find none other than Bud Flud tampering with the water. Flud pollutes one vat before the heroes confront him, which becomes his downfall. During the altercation, Bud stumbles and falls into said vat of water. Darkwing tries to get him out, but becomes aware Flud wasn't kidding when he said he was melting. The two heroes promtply go home.
Some time later, a magazine reporter approaches Herb Muddlefoot and asks if he can photograph his sprinkler system. Drake is jealous and tries to turn on his system and winds up flooding the house. He is told that he needs a 3/4 Pinckney flange and he goes off in search of one as Darkwing Duck. As he and Launchpad are driving around searching for the part, Darkwing is grabbed off the motorcycle by a giant hand made of water and dragged down into the sewer. Darkwing is approached by a strange character in a long raincoat and hat disguising who he is. Darkwing learns that this mysterious figure was once Bud Flud and is now the Liquidator and he is made completely of liquids. Darkwing tries to punch him but his hand only goes through him. Liquidator changes form and throws Darkwing against the wall. Liquidator then surrounds Darkwing with walls of boiling water. Just then Launchpad comes in and hits Liquidator with the door. This causes Liquidator to lose his form and Darkwing is freed from the boiling walls of water. They chase Liquidator to the St. Canard Water Works where Darkwing uses his newfound plumbing skills to block every attempt by Liquidator to escape the pipes. He, however, misses one pipe and Liquidator escapes and pounds Darkwing in the head. Darkwing mentions how hard it is to stop water from leaking and gives Liquidator an idea. He turns all the water hard. He forms a giant hard water ball and uses it against Darkwing and Launchpad. They crash through the building wall and into the bay where the water is normal. Liquidator quickly changes it into hard water too and traps Darkwing and Launchpad. Liquidator tells them that he is going to sell his water for $5,000 a bottle since it's the only drinkable water in town. Darkwing and Launchpad are cut free, for a fee, and they go to a tall building and jump off to break the hard water block around their feet. They break free, though painfully, and go to Liquidators bottling factory. Darkwing has a plan and he bursts in on Liquidator with a giant sponge making Liquidator retreat down the drain. He is forced into a water heater and Launchpad turns up the heat. The liquidator escapes once again in the form of steam. Launchpad points out that the heater is building pressure and it explodes. Liquidator retreats into a room and accidentally walks into a freezer. Darkwing and Launchpad think they finally have him when all of a sudden the water bottles in the room start to pop open and small water creatures come out and set Liquidator free. Darkwing smashes the partially frozen Liquidator and threatens to turn him into snow cones unless he turns the hard water back into normal water. Liquidator does it and water starts to flood the room and Liquidator is once again free. Darkwing and Launchpad dive into the sewer to escape the flood of water. They find a part that Darkwing had lost for his sprinkler system and know where they are. Darkwing and Launchpad pop up from the sewer and try to stop the liquidator from getting to the surface to no avail. Gosalyn is glad to see the water until Liquidator appears with his little minions. He tells his minions to capture her. Darkwing sees some cement bags and gets an idea. He pours out the bag on Liquidator and turns him into a concrete statue. All the water now turns back to normal. Drake is approached by a reporter to take pictures of his water system witch now features the Liquidator statue as the centerpiece.
- "This is a job for Darkwing Duck! — This is a job for Lawrence of Arabia!"
- — Darkwing cann't stand the heat.
Darkwing: I am the terror that flaps in your pipes! I am the hairball that clogs your drain! I am the original Mr. Fix-It!
Darkwing:I am the terror that flaps in the night! Liquidator: Oh, no. Darkwing: I am the soap scum that lines your bathtub! I am... (Liquidator, starts laughing)
- Gosalyn: "Uh-uh, $2.00, please."
- Liquidator: "Ah, $2.00, a girl after my own heart."
- "I am the parking meter that expires while you shop!"
- Lawrence of Arabia is the nickname of Thomas Edward Lawrence, an archaeologist, military officer, and diplomat active in the Early 20th century.
- While Flud is poisoning the the competition's water, his gloves disappear and reappear several times.
- After Darkwing and Launchpad got trapped by the Liquidator's hard water spell, look carefully at the hard water level at their feet. After the commercial break, the hard water's level is now on Darkwing and Launchpad's stomach level.